On Your Best Behavior

[et_pb_section bb_built="1"][et_pb_row _builder_version="3.0.92" make_fullwidth="on"][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_image _builder_version="3.0.92" src="http://www.brendashiekh.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/cropped-IMG_9263.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" align="center" always_center_on_mobile="on" force_fullwidth="off" show_bottom_space="on" /][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text _builder_version="3.0.92" background_layout="light"] Is anybody else as happy as I am that we are finally having a conversation about bad behavior? People are coming forward after years of silence and finally getting some validation. It’s exciting that we are reworking the concept of power in the world. I think the conversation could be even more authentic though.

We have been steeped in a belief that our voices can’t be heard. That is a belief we need to personally question in ourselves. More than being outraged that someone would make inappropriate contact or comments to us, I think we are angry that we aren’t communicating. We are hostage to a powerful belief that we will not be heard or respected.

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We could be modeling powerful communication at home with our children, with our spouses, and in the workplace. I have eleven children and believe me when I say that I have seen my fair share of bad behavior. There is so much power when somebody finally finds their voice against someone who is doing something they don’t like. And it might not sound like you think.

It isn’t words like “Stop touching me!” or “Leave me alone!” It certainly isn’t in name calling and shaming, seriously, no matter how bad and inappropriate the behavior. Anger is certainly a tone above shameful behavior, no question. And there are levels above anger that give a person extraordinary power because they are more true to who we really are.

When we are authentic, we recognize that the other person is a human just like us. Bound by experiences and conditioning that they had little choice over. Our bodies would have us think that we are separate people, but I would challenge that. When we can simply talk to the other person as if they are a voice inside ourselves, we can engage with that voice with strength and compassion.

It’s in kindness that we find our magic. It’s what we say to that voice inside of ourselves, that one who doesn’t care if we get hurt, who wants attention, who wants to be validated, and is willing to humiliate us to get that attention. We have all been there, right? Compromising our better judgement for what we think will lead to something different or better.

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Here is what I have my children say to someone who crosses a boundary. “I really care about you, and when you do that, I don’t like it. When you can treat me with respect, then I’ll be happy to talk to you.” It takes courage to look someone in the eye and speak from your heart to theirs. It also takes practice. We have an amazing opportunity in our homes and in our lives to create a new pattern of consciousness where we take responsibility for communicating to others how we want to be treated.

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KidsRosemary Watson