Making A Big Turkey (Out Of Myself)

[et_pb_section bb_built="1"][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_image _builder_version="3.0.92" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" align="center" always_center_on_mobile="on" force_fullwidth="off" max_width="50%" show_bottom_space="on" src="http://www.brendashiekh.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Turkey-1.jpg" /][et_pb_text _builder_version="3.0.92" background_layout="light"] Does anybody else feel like they have to take care of everybody? Like all the time? And when your husband offers to take, say nine of your boys to the movies, you can’t just let well enough alone? You have to remind him of all the things you know he’s going to forget so you get to be mad when he does? Or is that just me?

Not only did I sabotage myself, but I stole a learning opportunity from my husband yesterday. As he was walking out the door with the boys, I instructed him to make sure they went straight to bed after the late movie because they would otherwise start playing computers at 11 o’clock at night, waking me and our other son who has epilepsy up (never fun to get back to sleep). When he didn’t acknowledge what I was saying, there was a part of me going “Oh, just wait, this is gonna be great. When he gets home, and the boys are running around waking up the house, I’ll get to come out pissed off and tell him I knew it! He just can’t listen to me.”

Sure enough, 11 o’clock comes around, and instead of just sleeping soundly and trusting everything was going to be okay, I was half waiting for it. I heard the storm of kids roll in and head straight for their computers, and then the heavy footsteps of my patronizing husband walk to the refrigerator and then directly to the t.v. room. I was fuming. My son with epilepsy woke up, the boys started fighting over a computer charger, and the television was blasting. I was 90% furious and 10% totally satisfied, because I called it. Again.

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Instead of reveling in my 10% satisfaction, I had to ruin it. I stormed out and settled the kids down to bed, which took about a half an hour. I waited passive aggressively for my husband to notice the tone in my voice to the boys, and the sound of the door not being softly closed, to turn off the television and take some responsibility. It finally occurred to me that he was perfectly fine in front of the television snacking, the kids were tucked in, and he was the good guy for taking everyone to the movies. I went to bed thinking “How on earth did I screw this up so badly.”

A better idea would have been to stay in bed when they were making all that noise, and let my husband handle it when my son with epilepsy woke up. I could have let him deal with the fight that my kids were having over the computer. Instead, I wanted to catch my husband in the act of not doing what I said to prove that I have to do everything and I can’t get my needs met. My husband might have actually paid closer attention to my suggestions in the future instead of assuming that I will come to his rescue and all it’s going to cost him is a cold shoulder for the night.

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I took that stupid idea that I have to take care of everyone, and tossed it in the trash. I had a big Thanksgiving meal to prepare and I didn’t want to be bothered with a self-inflicted bad mood. I love to cook. And, to my delight, after the guests left, my husband took the boys to the park, so I took a giant, delicious nap.

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KidsRosemary Watson