A Girl With Kaleidoscope Eyes

[et_pb_section fb_built="1" _builder_version="3.0.47"][et_pb_row _builder_version="3.0.47" background_size="initial" background_position="top_left" background_repeat="repeat"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="3.0.47" parallax="off" parallax_method="on"][et_pb_image src="http://www.brendashiekh.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Kaleidoscope-Eyes-1.jpeg" align="center" _builder_version="3.0.92" max_width="50%" module_alignment="center"][/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version="3.0.92"]There has been a recent hail storm of stories about celebrity misconduct in the news, and because my daughter insisted that I not touch this subject with a ten foot pole on my public blog, of course I must! I promised myself. I promised myself that when my daughter got through her teenage years, I would take every opportunity to not listen to her so she would know what it feels like.[/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src="http://www.brendashiekh.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Kaleidoscope-Eyes-2B.jpg" align="center" _builder_version="3.0.92" max_width="50%" module_alignment="center"][/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version="3.0.92"]I think it’s important to talk about it because I imagine that most of us, including men, have been in situations where we felt paralyzed at the time to boldly speak up for ourselves. We pushed it to the back our minds and tried to move on. Maybe years later we will be in a place where we have grown emotionally, or the conditions are ripe to bring it up so that we can heal and finally complete the expression that we were holding onto. Often, however, when we finally come forward, we are met with extreme resistance.

In my house, many of the men behaved very badly and it wasn’t until my sister and I were about 15 or 16 that we began to confront it. My dad refused to discuss the matter and slammed his door and told us never to bring up the subject. We were already at a stage in our lives where we stopped thinking that dad was smarter than us, so luckily we just turned to the phone book and got ourselves a social worker.

I’ve often thought about what I could have said or done much earlier in my life, and I use to feel ashamed that I didn’t speak up. Like many people, I made it mean that I don’t have the courage and skill to express myself, and that others won’t honor me when I do.

These particular beliefs have had a pretty tight grip on my life, and in ways that I wasn’t even aware of. I’ve wrestled with some very stubborn beliefs before, like scarcity, trust, identity, and time, but this one is up for healing now. It seems like it’s up for healing for a lot of people. I’ve seen what miraculous things happened when I stopped buying into beliefs like “There isn’t enough”, “Life isn’t fair”, “I can’t trust myself.” So I get pretty excited when these beliefs come up and I’m at a place where I just don’t need to be dragged down by them anymore.

One of my sons wanted a kaleidoscope for his birthday this month and we ordered this really special glass one with two different wheels you can turn to see intricate patterns through the lens. As I turned one wheel even slightly, the pattern that reflected was a completely new design. It reminded me about beliefs and when we turn our belief around even slightly, our lives have no choice but to alter in a beautiful way, much like what you see through the lens when you turn a kaleidoscope. [/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src="http://www.brendashiekh.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Kaleidoscope-Eyes-3B.jpg" align="center" _builder_version="3.0.92" max_width="50%" module_alignment="center"][/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version="3.0.92"]To help turn the belief around, I literally have looked for all the ways I’m already expressing myself powerfully. On top of that, I’ve been pushing myself in the realm of self-expression by blogging, podcasting, and keynote speaking. It’s just so boring believing that I can’t express myself. Every day I marvel at how much more freely I am able to talk to my kids, to be super clear with my husband, and to be authentic in my blog. When you finally get sick and tired of a small-minded belief, that’s when it can get really exciting. A change is coming, and it’s incredible what even a little twist on a deep seeded belief can do for your life. Who knows, guys, you might see me up on stage running my mouth off like there’s no tomorrow. [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

PersonalRosemary Watson